I have had way too much coffee this week.

I knew going into this thing that is my own that it'd be mine, that it'd be my lyrics and the music I've had in my head for a year now. And I've managed to surround myself with some really great guys, who are into this thing of mine and who bring their own style to what I want to do. A certain someone has heard a hint of what's to come and it still makes me totally, ridiculously excited (plus, you know, he wants to work with me and it makes me want to clap like a seal). I guess it is a bit of a lonely existence, because I'm (basically) on my own for a bit and I have to get used to trusting my own instincts. Just because I think something sucks doesn't mean it really does and I shouldn't scrap it right away. That seems like it's the hard part of it all, well…outside of me sounding like a frog in the mornings here lately. It's super sexy;) But it's going really well so far, I think. This week has been full of lots of work and it's felt productive!

So I think I promised to post something the next time I updated, right? Right! I'll probably get yelled at for this later but whatever, I'm itching to show off some of this right this second! So. Here we go. I'll probably avoid the computer for a few after I hit "post" because HOLYSHITI'MPOSTINGTHISONTHEINTERNET. So, this is "Apologies". GO! LISTEN! Be excited! Let's just hope this works, huh?




I know it's a little different than Barclay stuff and it's definitely not the rap album I keep joking about (that one will be next) but I'm happy with it. Different is good;) I hope you all like it and this makes you maybe sort of excited for everything that's to come in the sort of near future.

I should update this thing, yes?

YES!

So I've been hard at work here lately, working on what I think are way awesome things. I know I've mentioned about being really nervous to get started on my own solo thing and I still am in some ways, but it's this excited nervous energy that makes me want to sort of bounce into rooms and squeal like the girl that I am. But it's been so much fun so far. I'm so excited to go to work and hear things come together the way I hear them in my head. I'm really excited for people to hear what's been banging around in my head, so hopefully soon I'll post a hint of what's to come. I can't say when anything might actually be out there for the masses, because as much as I want to hurry and get it all out there I still want to take my time. I still want it to be out sooner rather than later but we'll see how that goes. I want to play though! I want to do something! As much as I bitch about missing home when I'm on the road, I also find that I miss touring a lot. I get antsy being at home. So! People, get excited because I am way excited.

That doesn't mean Barclay is done forever and ever and ever (AMEN!) like people keep thinking. Because we're not done and fully intend on coming back together to record and tour again. It probably won't be for awhile, as I think we can all understand Miss Jayda needs the break. She's been working like a fiend since she was a kid practically, so it's normal to want the breather. And I think this time off has given Josh and I room to do things we want to for a little while. It was so much fun to work on the Twilight and Scott Pilgrim's soundtracks so I can't wait to see what happens when we actually do get back in the studio.

I'm just excited in general. I've overused that word, I know! And I'd probably use it more but I'm going to try to refrain when I mention I'll be in LA in like 9 days for the VMA's. My goal is to find Drake and meet him since apparently all Canadians should be bff's. I'm joking, I really just want to meet him. And I'll try not to refer to him as "Jimmy Brooks". Jensen keeps rolling his eyes at me when I sort of squeal about Drake. Trust me, he'd do the same thing about Jay-Z. My other goal is to not fall down in the shoes I bought. I couldn't resist a cute pair of shoes so let's keep our fingers crossed that there are no wardrobe malfunctions. But I'm excited (sorry! I had to use it!) to go! I watch it on tv pretty much every year so to go in person is super cool.

Should I do a henut update? I should probably! Because he's still growing like a weed. I keep telling him to stop it but he doesn't listen. Get this craziness: he's almost 15 months old! He might as well be going to college or something. He's walking practically all the time now, although he does still sometimes wobble like a little drunk old man. He's into everything he can reach, including pulling guitar cases down on top of him (it scared him when it fell over but he wasn't hurt). He's babbling up a storm currently in the next room since I guess he just woke up from a nap. Whenever I do eventually do anything that looks like a tour, he'll have his own personal manny (aka Uncle Michael) so I'm sure he'll start to demand diva-ish things soon. It's all apart of his world domination plan, you see;)

So yeah, things are good. Hopefully the next time I write in this thing, I'll have something super awesome to share with everyone!